Day in a Million
by one.twilight.sun
Summary: "Everybody knows that everybody dies, and nobody knows it like the Doctor. But I do think that all the skies of the all the worlds might just turn dark if he ever, for one moment, accepts it." Spoilers up to "Let's Kill Hitler"


**Day in a Million**

Oh god, oh god, oh god. The phrase has lost its meaning, a repetition pounding through her mind; the words lose their individuality, becoming white noise, underscoring her frenzied and clumsy movements. Her hands won't stop shaking, her breath coming out on silent sobs. Her muscles strain as she pulls him away from the wires and cables that would've been his doom. He couldn't die. He won't die, not as long as she is here.

She had been raised as the ultimate weapon, had been conditioned into wanting only one objective and to stop at nothing to accomplish it. She'd killed and, never one to sugar-coat cold hard truth, she'd enjoyed it. She had waited, waited years for him, to finally end his destruction, to end the war.

Then she'd met him. And he had been marvelous.

Even when she'd wanted to kill him, he had been wonderful. Unlike anyone she had ever met. He had outwitted her, a parry for every thrust, until she'd pulled out her final trick. She had been surprised at how easy it was to get close to him, close enough to kiss, and while that brush of lips had been one of death, the tingle that had sang through her had left her feeling so alive.

Oh, she hadn't known what it was at the time, hadn't known that the electricity she'd felt at that touch was _him. _She'd attributed the indescribable joy and the heart-breaking sadness coursing through her to her newly regenerating body. And she had gone on her merry way, leaving him to die.

She had to admit that she'd been impressed when he appeared once more, dressed to the nines, leaning against that indomitable blue box. She could appreciate his seemingly flippant attitude. Even when the poison had fully taken hold of parts of his body, he kept it light.

The second dent to the armor had been when she'd heard his voice through the shards of pain, burning ice and jagged edges, pleading with Amy to do something to stop the torture. The relief had soon followed and she'd collapsed in a chair, allowing the regeneration energy to take over.

He'd then asked her to save her parents, letting her into his TARDIS. And, oh! The TARDIS. How wonderful she had been; so welcoming, all-encompassing and vast yet simple at the same time. The third and biggest crack in the façade known as Melody Pond appeared.

Finding out that this mysterious "River" was _her _had fractured the surface. Feeling his cool mouth against her ear had the edges splintering away. And finally, seeing Amy, her mother, her _friend_, lying over his body, shaking with grief, had shattered the wall she'd always held to be indestructible but now had come to see as brittle-thin. River had been unable to hold back, letting the time-gold energy flow through her hands. She'd given up her future regenerations to save him.

Just as she'll give away her final life for him now.

She watches as his brown eyes blearily open, slowly coming to focus on her as she sits there on her throne of death, grotesque crown upon her head. His eyes widen as he sees the two cables in her hands, realizes just what she has done. He tries to save her, just as he tries to save everyone; the healer, the Doctor.

She's just caught on that he's known all along, _her _Doctor, the future Doctor. All those times she was with him, he'd known how she was going to die. That last night they'd spent together, when the towers sang and he'd cried the rare tears of a Time Lord, he'd known. Her breath catches, the tears threaten to break the dam, the strength that has kept her going in these precious moments, now on the verge of fleeing.

He fights. Oh, Rassilon, how he fights, how he pleads. He who has only known her for a few hours while she, she who has known him for a lifetime, will be giving up everything she's had with him. She'll never see him again in this or any future but at least, this way, he will see her.

The tears escape, can't be stopped. She smiles at him one last time, before connecting the lines that will outline her grave. She's blinded by white light and burned from the inside out.

*.*

The first thing she registers is the slightly dewy grass beneath her feet. She's never believed in an afterlife, being of the pragmatic sort, yet here she is: alive, smelling clean fresh air and feeling her fingertips tingle. She doesn't understand and she looks around, trying to get her bearings. Her eyes meet the smiling faces of a young girl and a kind man. They welcome her and turning, she sees her lost friends. And she realizes what he's done and she can't help but laugh, a clear, ringing joyful laugh as she runs to live her new life.

_Now and then_

_Every once in a very long while_

_Every day in a million days_

_When the wind stands fair_

_And the Doctor comes to call_

_**Everybody lives**_

*.*

[Quote from "Forest of the Dead" DW episode]


End file.
